Return To The Story

Telling the story of being God’s People is a foundational practice for our ‘tribal’ approach to family discipleship. It acts as an anchor. It cuts through our confused feelings. It brings clarity to difficult situations.

Here is a recent example:

An important rhythm for our family is our evening worship.

That rhythm began as a bedtime routine with our children when they were infants – singing a few worship songs as a lullaby. As our infants grew up we kept that time of worship together. But continuing to keep that rhythm can be a struggle.

It is most difficult when Sarah or I – as the priest/priestess of the family – are not feeling worshipful. It feels like hypocrisy to lead worship when we are frustrated, empty, or not particularly Kingdom-minded.

On an evening a few weeks ago we put out the call to come for family worship at 6:30 as usual. Children started coming to the living room… and began to argue over seating. As soon as we managed the situation one sibling became irritated over something else, and overreacted to another. Hurt feelings. Anger.

I opened the Bible to read a Psalm. It didn’t feel very sacred. It felt like going through the motions without any heart. I felt like not reading. I felt like skipping the whole affair. I began to read anyway, thinking maybe the Psalm would soothe my soul and usher me into a sacred space. It didn’t. And as I finished reading, another spat flamed up.

It was now time to sing. And with bitterness and frustration all around the room –  I was certain the child who was slated to lead us in worship was feeling emptier than I was.

There was a long silence. Everyone waited. That child could feel everyone's eyes. Everyone’s expectation. Frustration and pain had filled our souls where worship was supposed to bubble up.

The tension was building. In frustration someone blurted: It’s your turn!
I fought the urge to “handle” the situation.

With my eyes closed I asked God what my tribe needed to hear from Him – what I needed to hear from Him.
God’s Spirit spoke in my heart: “Come back to the story. See what I see.” 

I kept my eyes closed and I started speaking to my people: 

None of us are feeling like worshipping right now.
I think we need to remember what we are doing here and what is really going on.

Some of us are hurting. None of us are happy. With things as they are, none of us feel like worshipping. Only one person is happy with how things are.

The Devil is happy. God calls him the ‘destroyer’ and the ‘divider’. He celebrates the division that destroys our ability to celebrate our God and to love each other as He intended.

But we do this each night to celebrate our God – the God of unity, healing, and redemption.

When we don’t feel like we can worship God – that is exactly the time we need to worship God. We need to be near Him, and Him to us, so that He can knit us together – the way He made our family to be. We invite Him into the middle of our family each evening when we worship Him. That is what we are here to do.

I thanked them for listening and encouraged them to patiently wait for our leader for that night to lead us.

If you were in the room you would have sensed a depth and authenticity to the singing we hadn’t had for a while. We were reminded what the real story was and what we were there to do. For the rest of the night there was palpable graciousness and legitimate joy.

Both the offended and the offenders had been reminded who they really were. That they mattered, and what they did mattered, because they were God’s children – critical, valued members in one of His tribes. Our tribe.